You're completely useless in the revolution.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
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