She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize