Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
