Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
babies were throwing up all over the place
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
