dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
