Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
