I think scott just propositioned me for sex
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
