dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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