Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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