Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
