First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
