Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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