you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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