i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
