is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
