Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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