It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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