I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
