Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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