I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
