just tell him i said nine months
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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