I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
