So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Randomize
