She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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