just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize