When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Let's get the cat blown out
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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