Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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