Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
