So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
jump out the window naked night went bad
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
