how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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