I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
