To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize