I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
