Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
