The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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