Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
