You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
