I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
