I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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