Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
