is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
