considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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