woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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