Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
