we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize