Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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