it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Dick very happy bro
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
