you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
