I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The convent might be a nice break from real life
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
