I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
it was like having sex with a tree stump
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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