just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
