i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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