so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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