DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Still dying that you shit outside
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
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