Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
