Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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