The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
