I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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