I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
