just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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