oh god the rape fog is back!
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
he just fucked me for my cheese.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
