I just made out with a guy for $7.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
