The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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