is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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