She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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