why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
