is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
