Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
